Interview 3: my parents

For my third interview, I chose my parents to talk to. I knew pretty close to the beginning of the credo process that I wanted one of my interviews to be of a family member, and my parents seemed a natural choice because they would’ve had the most direct impact on my beliefs. The conversation quickly turned to the importance of family, which is something I’ve had on my mind for a while now, though I’ve never really had any fully-formed thoughts on it.
In the last few years, I’ve noticed that I feel differently about my family than many of my peers, or people in general, feel about theirs. Spending time with my family and maintaining good family relationships are things I value, and I think that came down to me through both sides of my family. For my mom, good family relationships get down to her belief in treating others as you would want to be treated. In the case of family, though, it runs deeper than just that, because there’s a sort of sacredness to it. Yeah, so there might be quibbles and things you don’t like, but it doesn’t really matter, because they’re family. Of course, she made a point of saying that if there are really toxic relationships, no one should have to stick it out if it means they’re miserable.
During the interview, both my mom and my dad talked about family gatherings and rituals they had growing up. My mom talked about her grandfather’s birthday party, which happened every year on May 5th, and how it’s just what happened, it was like Christmas or something. My dad talked about his last conversation with his Uncle Tom before he died of cancer, in which he gave a very clear message: “promise me you’ll get together for family gatherings, because family is everything.” He also talked about dinner in his household, which was always eaten together at the same time every night.
I’m still not really sure how to find the words for the base belief behind the value I have in family. I guess a lot of it for me is knowing your roots, not only by knowing family stories and history, but also simply knowing the people that you’re linked to by biology. I think a lot of my feelings about my family also came from the fact that I’m extremely lucky with the personalities that are in the family I got. Both my parents are super easy-going, and we all get along really well, which not everybody can say.
Anyways, my mom simplified good family relationships in a way that I liked. Treating other people how you want to be treated is one part of it, and the other is being good for goodness’s sake. Being good to people bring about all sorts of good karma, and doing it for its own sake, not because you want all the good things you’re going to get back, is important.