Given my appreciation of things that someone took time with, my first practicum was based around making sure I took time with things. One night I made sure to do a damn good job flossing my teeth (something I detest doing since I got braces), I made sure that I got breakfast each morning, I took time with my Secret Santa gift, things like that. Eventually, what it got me thinking about was not just taking time to do things, but making time to do those things. This sometimes means taking less time to do something in order to take more time with something else. For example, in order to make myself a decent breakfast, I often would have to cut a hefty chunk out of the time I’ve grown accustomed to taking in the shower.
The thing about making time to do things, though, is that I suck at it big time. I’m one of those people who has lists and lists of little things to do that I “just never get around to”, because I’m always procrastinating, or getting distracted, or taking too much time with the wrong things, or unimportant things, or basking in lazy comfort, and blah, blah, blah…Managing my time well, and keeping those little promises to myself is one of the hardest things in the world for me and something I consistently disappoint myself about, and it’s one of the things that drives me nuts about myself.
So, while I was satisfied with the things I took time with (aside from the flossing, which I hated every second of), the practicum sort of degraded into a load of self-deprecation, which I regret. I was also kind of expecting to gain some new insight on my beliefs, but really didn’t at all.
No comments:
Post a Comment